"Everyone! Stop what you’re doing and listen to my story. Ok, so, I was in SoHo today getting my coffee…and sitting not 4 feet away from me was DANIEL DAY LEWIS. My heart fluttered, I got all hot and twisted up inside. I had this overwhelming urge to hop in his lap, wrap my arms around his neck and call him daddy. He was fine y’all. Fiiiiine. Such a man. A real, live man. The only thing that stopped me from pouring myself all over him like syrup…he was there with his wife and teenage son. His son was a little babe too. I am definitely gonna check in on him in a few years. But back to DDL. I genuinely love him in a real, intense and personal way. I would push a man off a cliff…for 10 minutes alone with him. No problem. But the brief moment of eye contact we had today will suffice. I can die happy now."
- The End